Vagina Monologue
(Written in response to Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues)

I'm sorry but my vagina doesn't talk
Doesn't have favourite food on a fork
It doesn't sing
It doesn't dance
It wouldn't holiday in France

My vagina's simply part of me
With no desire of climbing a tree
It wouldn't have a girly name
Or dream of bright lights and of fame

My fanny, my foof 
Isn't lofty or aloof
My fairy, my Mary
Is neither scurrilous nor scary
My pudenda, my muff
Has heard quite enough
These terms so ludicrously absurd
Vagina is not a dirty word